“This is the compromise that human beings have made: to be secure about the future, to be certain about the tomorrows, to have a guarantee that the woman who loves you is going to love you forever, that it is not a temporary affair. But for that, a few compromises have to be made, and whenever there is compromise there is always trouble. Right now you are young soon you will be old and you would like your wife, your husband, to be with you in your old age, in your sickness. “You want to be secure for the coming moment, for your whole future. But man found it necessary that there should be some kind of legal contract between lovers, because love itself is dream-stuff, it is not reliable…it is there this moment and the next moment it is gone. “Hence nature has not provided a mind that can adjust to marriage. Once in a while there is a fight over a love object but a fight is far better than to be jealous, far more natural than to be caught up in jealousy and burn your heart with your own hands. “In the world of animals, birds, there is no jealousy. The feeling of jealousy is a byproduct of marriage. “What is the disturbance? You have to look it as if it is not your question – somebody else has asked, it is somebody else’s problem – so that you can stand aside and see the whole fabric. A mind that can be jealous cannot be loving, and vice-versa: a mind that is loving cannot be jealous. Jealousy and love have become so mixed up.
You are disturbed by it now, but I would like to tell you that if you don’t feel jealous you will be in much more trouble – then you will think you don’t love him, because if you loved him you should have felt jealous. “For example, you feel jealous if your lover goes to another woman. “But the thing has been going on a wrong path for centuries it has become ingrained in us so much that we cannot separate love from jealousy. If you want to have it, you have to keep your hands open. By love people mean a certain kind of monopoly, some possessiveness – without understanding a simple fact of life: that the moment you possess a living being you have killed him. And their misunderstanding about love creates jealousy. “People think they know what love is – they do not know.
“Jealousy is one of the most prevalent areas of psychological ignorance about yourself, about others and more particularly, about relationship. 21 min read Our Need to Secure Our Future Has Killed Love and Given Rise to Jealousy and Tortured Relationships
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